May 6, 2010

First and foremost, I know I missed yesterday. And I have enough to write about today that I could do a post for yesterday and lie on the datestamp, but that's supposed to be something I'm improving on. Truthfully, I just woke up at 10:40 and was lazy with my husband and boy. I'm disappointed that I didn't fulfill my promise to the DNI team, but don't feel like it interfered any with my growth with God. I am allowed to pray other hours of the day, too.

Had a vision this morning of a loved one shooting a gun. Someone that's not likely to shoot a gun at all. It was moreso a message to me of aiming for perfection, and the need to be slow and steady while doing so. I learned that the word "sin" is an archery term used to describe only "missing the mark." It doesn't say how far off you were, or that you're a horrible shot for not making a bullseye. Just simply that your shot wasn't right on. This is how I view conviction. To me, it's not a shameful process of being condemned. It's simply an encouraging little guidance that tells me I can do better. Conviction is God's advising on how to aim better for the mark - what could be more loving than that? He does want to see us succeed.

I've been meaning to write about this for weeks, and have yet to actually do it. It tugged on my heart more than ever this morning. I've been guilty of living a Christless Christianity. In Matthew 16:13-17, Jesus asks "Who do they say I am?" I have the standard "right" answers on hand - Messiah, Christ, son of living God, etc. But those words have no depth to me. It's just a programmed response. I'm jaded to the concept of Christ. I relate it sort of to Santa Claus. As a child, you're enthralled by the idea of a mystery man bearing gifts, and love him dearly. The older you get, you can still conjure the vision of St. Nick on a Coke ad, but that nostalgia is gone. You've grown so adjusted to the idea of Santa that it's hard to appreciate him anymore. Now, I know one is a ficticious fat man in a red suit and the other the Sacrificial Lamb for all mankind, it's just a basis for understanding. I've grown so accustomed to what Jesus did that I no longer appreciate it fully.

So this morning I spent some time breaking down what I do understand. I understand that, before Jesus, man had to offer a sacrifice as payment to cover his sin, and therefore, have communication with God. Post-Jesus, we can call on the Lord in any time of need and simply charge it to Jesus's account. I understand that Jesus is the means by which we are allowed to develop intimacy with the Father. John 14 gives record of Jesus promising to send a Helper (the Holy Spirit) that will allow this.

I started to develop more of an understanding of the forgiveness of sin this morning. If Jesus paid the debt of sin (I visualize this as literally paying off the balance of a credit card for me), he therefore is the rightful owner of said sin - just the same as he would rightfully own my car if he paid off my car loan (this is obviously hypothetical. If you know me, you know that I would never take out a car loan). Anyway, that ownership of our sin ties back to what was said in church a few weeks ago that is so liberating.

"We have no right anymore to lay claim to being disqualified. It's covered by the blood of the Lamb. We have no right to lay claim to being disqualified. It's not our stuff. It's one of the reasons why Lord Jesus, on the cross, in the midst of all the intensity, in the pain of not just his death, but the burden of the weight of sin that was on his shoulders at that point, says out loud to the Father, to the world, to the Heavens, "It's finished. It's done." If the Lord Jesus says it's done, there is nobody who can call that back. There is nobody who can disagree with that." - Brock McKay (see 4/18/10 post for more on disqualification)

Jesus paid for our sin, and therefore took ownership of sin to do with what he wish. He wished to free the world from the weight of it. By this logic, I am not permitted to take the weight of my sin, even if I so desire. He's made that decision for me.

"Who do they say I am?" I say he's the means of intimate communication with the Living God, the sender of the Holy Spirit to the earth, and the payee and liberator of my sin account. Who do you say he is?

PS Bit of honesty: Remembering verses is NOT my talent, and I do have to Google keywords to find the Scripture I'm looking for. It's humbling.