Thursday, April 15, 2010
April 15, 2010
I'm convicted today of failing to stay in a "perpetual prayer" mode. As a member of a day and night prayer team, I've signed up for the responsibility of being in prayer from 10-11 AM Monday through Friday. Although this has done great things for my prayer life (nearly everything written here originates in the 10-11 time), I'm also restricting myself with it. It's become an appointment in my time management, and all prayer-related items are pushed into the 10-11 slot. If I wake up at 8:00 with the Lord urging me to spend time in prayer on something, I "save" the material for my 10-11 hour. I understand this to be direct disobedience when God is asking for me here and now. Still, it's a habit that I've become stuck in and struggle to break. The daily tasks of homework, cleaning, and child care tend to occupy my primary focus, and prayer is all but forgotten from 11 until 10 the next day. I desperately need to get back to a perpetual prayer mode, and am seeking ways to do that. Any tips?
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Practice. I always like to take a drive. I know it's not always possible but sometimes I find myself talking, screaming, crying at God. Things I couldn't do at home.
ReplyDeleteSo this might come out wrong, but one of my favorite things to do is scream at God. I'm just starting to figure out that emotion is not a sin, and that God prefers honesty (He knows what you're thinking anyway). Some of the biggest breakthroughs I've had come from letting Him know I'm frustrated and I don't understand His decisions.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand, although we are on a temporary break for our dni prayer schedule I felt the same thing. Beside mealtime and out time slot I was almost uncomfortable praying without Kassidy, without that support there, without feeling like I knew what I was doing, and without really knowing what I was doing. Although I still struggle and my devotion slips from week to week I have committed myself to baby steps. Mostly when I am in dire need for patience or support or feel I have no other options I turn to God. I know these are not the best or only reasons I should pray but I know the more I do it the more I get better at it and the better I feel about it. I am not perfect and I still need alot of work but I truly feel a huge difference when I know I am making the effort and when I am not. So I encourage you to take baby steps with me, even if they are more frustrated, short, mini prayers, the more you get into a routine with it (like everything else we do) the more you get better at it. I hope this helps but knowing you (meaning me) are not the only one feeling this way in helpful in a way and more encouraging to do better. (P.s. I am also trying to be better at giving thanks outloud for all the blessings the Lord has placed in my life right along with those prayers.)
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