tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28939848623237322682024-02-19T23:48:43.511-08:00Daily BreadJennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-37614922914123015792011-03-31T05:29:00.000-07:002011-03-31T06:05:10.357-07:00March 31, 2011I'm not an excellent baker. I barely squeak by as a Kraft-macaroni-preparer. Despite this, I am still spoken to when yeast is referenced in the Bible. From my (limited) understanding, yeast is a reactant used to cause rising in doughs. Yeast reproduces rapidly and dies upon baking. Dough containing yeast that is not carefully monitored has the potential to rise out of control. It came up this morning in Galatians 5:9- "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough." The context of the verse is a letter of encouragement from Paul (because, to my knowledge, Paul pretty much only wrote letters of encouragement). In this portion, he is warning against lies and manipulations that are not in keeping with Christ's word. It takes a relatively small amount of yeast to produce a large reaction in a large batch. A small lie does not only affect its one department. A small lie gives your mind permission to manipulate truth, which can't NOT take effect on the whole person. Yeast is also mentioned from Jesus's mouth in Luke 13:20. In this passage, however, it's used to describe the Kingdom of God. The same interpretation of small agent produces large reaction fits here in a positive way, with so many facets. A small amount of Word produces such large life changes in its reader. A small act of love produces deeper trust in a relationship. A small amount of believers in the earth are responsible for filling such a large population. Believers are called to distribute ourselves amongst people and to be the reactive agents there. We are responsible for doing the work that causes rise around us. We are to be the yeast of God's earth. Romans 1:20 says that God's wonders can be understood by what He has made. It makes me wonder- Did Jesus and Paul coincidentally find these parallels about yeast, or did God design yeast to be inspired by His kingdom at work?Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-46421515170721053752011-03-23T05:47:00.000-07:002011-03-23T06:13:22.751-07:00Jew Dimaggio? Coco Christ?I'm losing sight of my Christ lately because of the cultural gap that separates me from his walk on our earth. I want to appreciate who he is, I really do, I just can't see him today.<br />Therefore, I'm going outside the box to place Jesus in the culture I do see.<br />What would I think of Jesus if he hadn't been a carpenter 2000 years before my time?<br />What if Jesus had come to earth as a baseball player in the 21st century?<br />As a man without err, Jesus would have a 1.00 career batting average. The second-place holder in history books would be Ty Cobb, with a not-so-near .367.<br />Ed Walsh has the lowest ERA in man's history, allowing an average of 1.82 runs per game. That's 1.82 more than Jesus would have let through.<br />If you can remember the hype that electrifies our media when a star athlete is on the rise - Remember Tiger Woods? Remember Michael Jordan? Michael Phelps? The 1996 USA Women's Gymnastics team? The 1996 Chicago Bulls? The 1996 everything? (It was a good year for sports.) Take a minute to fathom the sensationalism that would surround a promising athlete who had <em>never failed</em>. Never taken second place. You know that energy that surrounds a pitcher who has yet to give up a hit in the 7th inning? Imagine a pitcher that never gave up a hit... ever. Our focus would become a magnet to this athlete. A great amount of media attention would be given to speculation and anticipation of the error we are sure is to come.<br /><br />And then, what if it didn't? Would we continue to praise and support someone who never did fail? Would we get bored with the predictability? Would we make accusations that the athlete is using steroids or bribing officials, because we are just that uncomfortable with someone being that much better than us?<br /><br />How easy it would be to capture my attention if Jesus were a baseball player. But, then again, how easy it would still be for me to take him for granted. How easy it would be for him to be persecuted again.<br /><br />I'm praying this morning that I not take Christ for granted. I cannot fully appreciate the way he sacrificed his body (and not just in death, but in his lifestyle - regularly denying his flesh the ways of the world) until I am prepared to deny mine as well. I can deny my body its desires by waking up earlier than I would naturally to spend time in the Word. I can deny my body its desires by withholding dinner for an evening. I can deny my body its desires by making larger monetary contributions, when really all I want is to put every dime into remodeling our house.<br /><br />I believe I am one person in three parts: body, soul, and spirit. My spirit is where the Holy Spirit is housed within me, as I am a saved believer. My soul is my mind+heart place where I interpret reality. I can choose to interpret reality using my body or my spirit. Body and spirit are polar opposites - to deny one is to accept the other. When I turn my back on my body's wants, by default I am running to the spirit. And guess who's there waiting.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-34191621492448723802011-01-18T09:03:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:04:34.915-08:00Monday, January 18, 2011Doing a study on the book of Mark, and I'm just coming up with too clear of understanding to not document.<br />Today's progress:<br /><br />Mark 10:46-52<br />Jesus's choice of words in verse 52 interests me. Not "I have healed you," (although this would be a true statement), but "Your faith has healed you." Jesus seemed to have a way of making his ability known without directly demanding praise for himself. Jesus gives Bartimaeus sight not because of his own mercy or grace, but because of Bartimaeus's faith. What I gain from this is that our spiritual lives reflect a self-fulfilling prophecy. Jesus performs to the same degree we expect of him. Later on, in Mark 11:24, Jesus says, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."<br />This leads me to: Why would the God-man share his glory with us? Why give us credit for faith when the true work being done is on his end? My best response is that he loves us and wants to encourages our faith. What could be more encouraging than to see results credited to your effort? I'll liken it to parenting- when Carson asks politely for a drink, I do not hand it to him and tell him, "I, O mighty mother, have provided this drink for you from self-sacrifice and love, and it is right that you ask politely because you are eternally indebted to me." I simply hand it over and say, "Thank you for asking nicely." Reinforcing good behavior never fails to elicit more good behavior.<br /><br />Mark 12:13-17<br />Jesus is clarifying for the legalistic ones whether or not to pay taxes. After all, Jesus is a rebel who challenges the norms of culture. Jesus answers the question by looking at a coin of the day. It is stamped (engraved? chiseled? etched?) with the image of Caesar. Mark 12:17 "Then Jesus said to them, 'Give to Caeasar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." The coin bore the image of Caesar, <strong>but man bears the image of God</strong>.<br />Background info on the image of God:<br />God Himself is a trinity - Father, Son, Holy Spirit.<br />Man is a trinity - spirit, Soul, Body<br />No other living creation is a trinity. Dogs have bodies, and you could argue that dogs have souls (who hasn't seen a dog "cry" or pout?). But there is no question that dogs do not have spirits. The spirit (little s) is the vessel within a man that is capable of receiving the Holy Spirit (big S), should the man accept. Dogs do not know Jesus, and are not capable of carrying his Spirit within them.<br />Man alone bears God's image, because man alone is a trinity capable of carrying the Holy Spirit. (FYI, I believe angels are not trinities. They have spirit and soul, but no body.)<br />Back to Mark 12:17. The coin bears the image of Caesar, and thus belongs to Caesar. We bear the image of God, and thus belong to God.<br />Send the money away, Jesus says. Let Caesar collect the metal currency he so favors, this currency has no bearing in the Kingdom of God. Keep yourself reserved for the Lord, as this is the treasure He most seeks.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-33365879257028122010-11-23T19:27:00.000-08:002010-11-23T19:41:02.373-08:00November 23, 2010Thinking about forgiveness tonight, and how badly I struggle with bringing my heart to forget transgressions that haven't been atoned. I can forgive a person that's sorry. I can forgive a person that is ignorant. But I struggle a lot more with forgiving a person that is knowingly and intentionally hurting me on a regular basis without any showing of remorse. God commanded me to forgiveness today, and I responded with a "butbutbut" - How do I forgive someone that continues to offend? I find myself asking God to equip me with proper forgiveness to this person, so that I may speak the word forgiveness to him and let it ring true in my soul.<br /><br />But that's not how it works.<br /><br />It doesn't need to ring true in my soul, I don't need to "feel" it.<br />Forgiveness is truthfully a lot more like love- real, weathered love. Love is not something that I speak of and am magically filled with the feeling of. Love is something that I am privileged to speak of because I work for it.<br /><br />Example: Carson is going through a crazy, trying stage right now (I've heard it's called "being 2"). I can't recall the last day that he didn't experience some kind of time-out. Before, during, and after every time-out I have ever given him, I affirm over and over, "I love you."<br />And it's not a lie.<br />I love him while I'm spanking him, I love him while I'm confining him to his bedroom, I love him while we're having serious talkings-to. I love him through the process, in spite of his behavior.<br /><br />It is possible to love someone "through the process" of unloveable behavior.<br />So my logic says it must be possible to forgive someone through the process of hurtful behavior.<br /><br />I don't speak it into existence, and it doesn't always feel peaceful in my soul, but so long as I am resolved to working through the process, I must be in a state of forgiveness.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-71625250711819121212010-09-14T14:15:00.001-07:002010-09-14T14:33:24.852-07:00Tuesday, September 14, 2010Zach & I have always assumed that a dog would eventually be a part of our family. We spent some time searching for the perfect puppy last year, only to decide that we were too near our honeymoon to bring a dog in, move it out for a week to a kennel, and then bring it back in. So we decided to wait until we got home from Vegas. We got home from Vegas pregnant. Then we decided that I would probably be too exhausted while chasing three kids and in school to bother with training a puppy (and we were right. I was too exhausted). So we chose to hold off until Codie was no longer a newborn and our family was a little more settled. That time is now.<br /><br />Call it an act of God (but it would really ruin the end of this story if you did), my sister found a stray dog Sunday night. He fits the description of last year's search for the Perfect Dog to a T. Short hair, non-shedding, Yorkie (with a bit of Schnauzer), over a year old, out of the chewing stage, previously owned and potty trained, great with kids, etc. It's such a perfect fit it hurts.<br /><br />Here's why it really hurts - someone else in my family (namely, a precious 3-year-old) has also fallen in love with Perfect Dog (who, to protect her identity, shall be referred to as "Rhubarb" from here forward - the dog, not the child).<br />I spent a good amount of time last night and this morning mentally pitching the perfect argument as to why we've been wanting this dog before we even knew it was available, and why we deserve it more, etc. etc. It felt as though the Rhubarb of our dreams stumbled right into our lives, yet was being stolen from under our noses.<br />And then I changed my mind.<br />Knowing that I'd rather lose adding to Rhubarb to our family than lose a relationship with an existing member, God ordered me to let it go.<br /><br />Amazing thing happens when you change your mind.<br />In my mind, Rhubarb went from being "stolen from under our noses" to a precious gift for a precious 3-year-old (who really does have too rampant of an imagination to NOT have a Rhubarb yet). Having something beloved stolen from you is painful, but giving something beloved to someone beloved is joyous.<br />Change your mind.<br /><br />At house church a few weeks ago, we talked about repenting. A basic definition of repent is to change your mind.<br /><br />I'm just now understanding what Sister Hazel meant in their great 90s song:<br />"If you want to be somebody else, change your mind."<br />Me of last night is a different somebody than the me of today.<br /><br />Repent, change your mind, be somebody else - somebody willingly transformed in Christ.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-59190911507162656582010-08-02T12:38:00.001-07:002010-08-02T12:58:01.100-07:00August 2, 2010Never expected to relate to an Adam Lambert song, but my theme today is "What do you want from me?"<br />I've had this notion for the past couple of weeks that I need to learn to speak Spanish. I feel that it would make me a much more valuable witness and volunteer (someday). I prayed on this Friday night and very clearly heard back, "Why learn to talk to them if you don't know how to speak to them?"<br />One of my signature strengths/weaknesses (because they are the same thing, after all) is that I am horribly uncomfortable around people unlike myself. I tend to take on the personality of my company and often end up misrepresenting myself. I can get away with this when the company I keep is similar enough to me, but it's the core reason why I'm scared to diversify my life. It's not that I fear other cultures, it's that I fear offending these people/making an idiot of myself by trying too hard to relate. Just think of Steve Carrell in... well, any role he's ever played. Remember the episode of The Office with Prison Mike? Exactly. He's at least taller than 5'1 to back up some of that facade.<br />So the point is, God needs me to not just learn the language. He needs me to learn to represent Him and myself strongly and without compromise. I decided that I'd put off learning the language until I'm in a stronger position. Then I passed a sign yesterday advertising free Spanish lessons on Saturday mornings.<br />Freak.<br />Confusion.<br /><br />How in the world do you decide if something is a sign from God, or a sign that you're looking too far into things?<br /><br />I decided to go ahead and proceed with Spanish lessons. We get free Rosetta Stone (thank you, USAF) and I've talked to a lot of other people interested in learning. The idea here is to be fluent in communicating with other cultures before I become fluent in talking to Spanish-speakers.<br /><br />How do you know God's on my side today? I babysat 6 kids aged 5 & under, wasn't tempted to beat any of them, and didn't even cry! Progress!Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-8973472509790997882010-07-13T21:35:00.000-07:002010-07-13T21:58:27.481-07:00July 13, 2010Guess who's back... Back again...<br /><br />Alright, here's the thing - I'm burned out on formalities. I've been way too concerned with the formal text of these blogs, and way too concerned with having a new and relevant topic on a daily basis. <strong>This is not how God operates.</strong> I don't have a coin-operated God. He does not dispense wisdom on demand when I put a quarter in. He dispenses wisdom when my life experience brings me to my knees in the realization that I have no idea what I'm doing- that this world is not designed for me to sustain without Him.<br /><br />That being said, how in the world can I command a daily revelation from the Lord? The pressure of forcing myself into "growth" every day, just for the sake of a blog, does nothing to glorify Him. The pressure of filling an hour of focused, moving prayer while not allowing the kids to kill themselves or each other does nothing to glorify God. Rather, in my personal life, it's disrespectful to Him. The Lord has put under my responsibility four children that deserve to see Him operating in love - not to be pacified and distracted by TV for an hour so I can have alone time. His will for me as a caretaker and mother simply does not coincide with my former will for me as an all-star contributor to the DNI team.<br /><br />The point is, I am shedding structured expectations of my walk with my Father. We may spend 5 hours together some days, we may spend 5 minutes together others. Who can put a standard of time over the Creator of time? I may advance leaps and bounds with God some days (today), some days we may be lucky to tread water (the last month). Who can measure whether God is at work?<br /><br />I'm so tired of attempting to live up to these self-imposed expectations of what God needs to be doing for me. I'm so tired of feeling like a failure when I haven't pushed Him enough. I'm so tired of forcing my life with Him, instead of just living it.<br /><br />I have no idea when I'll update next. But I can guarantee that when I do, it'll finally be God speaking instead of me.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-57127326266490969222010-07-01T00:11:00.000-07:002010-07-01T00:14:39.759-07:00July 1, 2010We pour out our miseries<br />God just hears a melody<br />Beautiful the mess we are<br />The honest cries of breaking hearts<br />Are better than a hallelujahJennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-89631550777355135942010-07-01T00:02:00.000-07:002010-07-01T00:11:46.959-07:00July 1, 2010Things aren't going so hot. Dropped my DNI times and let go of the sense of responsibility I had for the blog. Given the ages of the kids I am caring for right now, I literally do not have sixty consecutive minutes in the day to concentrate on anything. Sixty consecutive seconds to use the restroom can be a stretch (literally- Carson gave Codie 30 doses of Mylicon Monday while I was in the bathroom). Our computer is in our basement, and it's not babyproof enough to have the kids down here. I can't leave them unsupervised for any amount of time, so I'm lucky if I get online once a week to balance the checkbook. Daily blogging, following an hour of focused prayer, is simply not a possibility at this stage of life. Returning to school seemed like a good idea to keep me occupied & challenged, as being a housewife can get pretty mundane. Instead, it's trumped everything. I care about God, Zach and my family far more than I care about education. And yet, those are the departments I'm sacrificing for education. Pray for me? I'm not so good at this time management thing.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-53436241679688052612010-06-09T09:15:00.000-07:002010-06-09T09:17:05.009-07:00June 9, 2010Whoohoo! Productive prayer time this morning. God must've known the meltdown I would've had if today turned into another yesterday. Honestly, haven't felt much of a "Daily Bread" today. Just a continued conviction to demonstrate His love more fully.<br />Also- I'm horrible at reading Scripture, or maintaining good habits. Going to start trying a new method. Leaving a Bible in the bathroom, and reading a chapter every time I'm in there. Chances are I can spare three minutes, right?Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-3052271807337260692010-06-08T08:37:00.000-07:002010-06-08T08:43:12.072-07:00June 8, 2010Today is HARD. Two kids whining nonstop, Carson playing in the toilet every time I sit down to breathe. I cannot keep my mind focused for the life of me. Zach & I had a good ten minutes of prayer, but the rest of the hour has been utter disappointment. It's only 40 minutes in, and I'm giving up. While writing this, I had to stop three times - Carson took Codie's paci and dunked it in the toilet, Codie needed help with gas pains, and Carson was in the utility room playing in the dryer. And now, gotta get Carson out of the DVDs... Child care and ability to focus on anything simply do not go together well.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-18956927832352707192010-06-04T08:59:00.001-07:002010-06-04T09:25:41.807-07:00June 4, 2010Three parts today:<br />1) I started an Anatomy & Physiology class at night this week. We're only on day two, and the last two days of basic chemistry & biology review just have me speechless, in awe of God's intelligent design. I sit in His presence on the drive home and just worship His might. This class is going to be great for my faith. As we were discussing cell membranes last night, the teacher was comparing the membrane to barriers in our daily reality - fences, walls, etc. And I realize that everything man has made for his own convenience, in some way, mimicks the design God has created. Not only is He the Creator of our earth and our bodies, He has created the fundamental science that allows for "man-made" inventions. Romans 1:20 explains that God has put so much of Himself into nature that anyone on this earth will be able to see Him, through his surroundings. I'm taking that a step further. Anyone that enjoys being inside a home can see the way that being protected by walls reflects the cell membrane that exists to protect the cell's nucleus. Anyone that uses a key to unlock his front door can see the way the key is a perfect match to its one and only lock, just as enzymes are a perfect match to their one and only molecule set. There are no ideas that are truly original to man. Everything we create as a mankind, whether intentionally or not, reflects the design of the Creator. What glory this must bring Him.<br /><br />2) My post a few days ago was misleading. I said that it's okay when I'm busy, God & I just pick up where we left off. Although I know God is patient and understanding, He also deserves a higher priority in my life. The things that keep me busy are parenting, housekeeping, and schoolwork. I perform in these roles far better when I am primarily maintaining my role as a child of God. When I seek to please Him, the rest falls into place.<br /><br />3) I see the DNI mission as a relay, running the torch. I often feel like I'm failing the team in my leg of the race because I am so frequently interrupted and distracted. There is no such thing as a quiet place with 4 children under 4 in the house. God put it on my heart this morning that there's no minimum distance in my leg of the race. I can travel six inches or a mile, and both bring Him glory. All that matters is that I not drop the torch. To me, this means keeping myself in a state of open communication with Him. If I have to change Codie's diaper mid-prayer, I can pray thanksgiving for a healthy baby. If I have to discipline a kid mid-prayer, I can pray for conviction on my shortcomings, or for justice to those perpetuating darkness. God is perfectly capable of keeping up with the pace in our household, and shifting His focus as mine is shifted. Just don't drop the torch.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-53071539355542593342010-06-03T08:39:00.000-07:002010-06-03T08:48:48.233-07:00June 3, 2010I was thanking God this morning for financial provision and career opportunities when I got a bit convicted of the significance of these things. They simply aren't that important. In the list of my blessings, I often include air conditioning (especially when it's been repaired and the previous day our house was 83 degrees, but let's not get too specific here), reliable transportation (especially when it's just been repaired and the previous day had no car, but let's not get too specific here), and financial security. Although I am <em>very</em> appreciative of these things, they aren't the core blessings God has provided me. They're measures of comfort. I was born into a circumstance that allows for comfort, some aren't. Some are born into nations of persecution, some are born into poverty, some addiction. God is still their God. They may not be in circumstances as comfortable as mine, but they are still just as blessed. Which has me thinking today (when I can think - really, this four kids + prayer hour thing is hard), what are the core blessings God provides? Unconditional love, forgiveness via salvation (or is it salvation via forgiveness?), the unfailing presence of the Holy Spirit. I'm so quick to be thankful for my comfort that I overlook the biggest blessings I have. I can only hope that I would still feel so blessed if I were to lose my air conditioning, car, and financial security. To find my comfort in Christ alone is ultimate faith-living. I need to get there.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-18649709765530763232010-06-02T09:09:00.001-07:002010-06-02T09:20:48.166-07:00June 2, 2010Didn't make it very far in prayer time this morning. The bottomless potty training method sort of takes away from my ability to focus on anything this week. I've got a sense of calm about it - not in a complacent way of settling, but in the way of fitting God into my reality. It reminds me of the way I see my marriage - it's not an option, but a fact of my life that is with me forever. There are days that we don't see each other much or find time for good conversation, as well as times when he's out of town altogether (thank you very much, USAF). This doesn't mean he's no longer my husband. It means we're on pause, and we'll pick up where we left off when time allows us to. God is still my God. I'm going to have a chaotic week of transitioning to four kids in the house, potty training a toddler, handling a newborn with acid reflux, starting night school and maintaining the house. God sees that, understands that, and will wait for me. My challenge is to not take advantage of his patience, and still prioritize the time I can make for Him.<br /><br />Update: Prayed with Carson last night and Zach this morning - one day in, whoo hoo!Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-41790383142764008202010-06-01T09:02:00.000-07:002010-06-01T09:09:40.122-07:00June 1, 2010I mentioned in a note quite a while back the question that constantly plays in my head - Would Carson know that his parents are Christians?<br />When this thought first came to me, its intent was pretty obvious to me. I was being called to invite Christ into our home more - to make him a resident rather than a guest. I felt a distinct urging to show Carson prayer in different forms. I was to have him witness me in prayer for the world daily (DNI time), Zach & me in prayer for our family together, and to engage Carson in a prayer of thanksgiving every night. I'm not sure if we've modeled all three of these in the same day yet.<br />This morning I got heavily convicted on this again, and asked Zach to keep me accountable to it. Even if the prayers are not something he is called to do, supporting his wife's obedience to the Lord most certainly is. This is something I've failed to do many, many times, and really need to take more seriously.<br /><br />Irrelevant sidenote: Genesis 2:16. God's first commandment to man was one of freedom. Restriction is a secondary order. God does not want to stifle you with rules. He wants you to thrive within the boundaries He sets.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-46395300108151786322010-05-31T09:33:00.000-07:002010-05-31T09:56:10.354-07:00May 31, 2010Got a great reminder yesterday of the message from Easter service, and developed it a little further on my own. Very cool to see the recurring themes within the Bible.<br />Let's define the Adam race. All humans are traced back to Adam himself, and Adam made a decision that titled his bloodline as sinners. The label of "sinner" was a problem for me before I understood it. It struck me as a very negative, dirty word that described a self-defeating cycle we are powerless against. A "sinner" was someone anxiously awaiting the opportunity to cheat, steal, manipulate. Hardly the image of God. I refused to see my Carson as fitting under the umbrella of "sinner." What I came to understand changed everything - <strong>We aren't sinners because we sin. We sin because we are sinners. </strong><br />It's not that Carson is a dark child that seeks to do evil. Carson is a child of God, born into a world of satan, that is inevitably going to miss the mark in this life. He will fail, because he is only human. This statement is synonymous with "He will sin, because he is a sinner." failure = sin, human = sinner.<br />So how does one defeat the sin nature of being in the Adam race? Don't be in Adam. Be <strong>in Christ</strong>.<br />Jesus was born to the Adam race. He defeated the Adam race, and became the Christ race by resurrection. He laid down into a grave, and was raised from it. The motion reminds me of a windshield wiper - lays down, then returns upright.<br />This is completely parallel to baptism. A believer is to lay down into water, and then be risen from it. A believer's baptism is his own resurrection. Put the Adam inheritance to its grave in water, and rise clean <strong>in Christ</strong>.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-52736920271937045112010-05-27T10:08:00.000-07:002010-05-27T10:13:18.313-07:00May 27, 2010I was given a pretty clear reminder this morning to be in the Word more if I want to know God better. Spent the last twenty minutes of prayer time in Acts, reading the letter written to new Gentile believers. It sends a message of baby steps. The letter is short and commands very little of the new believers, as to not throw them headfirst into the deep end. In my past I've tried jumping in to faith - going from very cold to very hot, as to avoid being lukewarm. It gave the same effect as jumping into a cold pool after being in a hot tub - I went into shock. It's too great of a transition to expect it to take place instantly. It's wiser to ease in slowly. Follow what you understand, pray for clarity on issues you don't understand. Trust that God is in control and has wisdom far greater than ours.<br /><br />Sidenote: What's the greatest thing God's ever done?Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-62434118649670266342010-05-26T08:59:00.001-07:002010-05-26T09:18:12.684-07:00May 26, 2010Again, a delay in posting. Again, I'm really struggling with focus. Although it seems like an innocent enough thing to be distracted by, it's really difficult to stop staring at Codie for a full hour and focus on anything else.<br /><br />So this morning I cheated. The first 15 minutes I stared at Codie to my heart's content, and just thanked God for every little detail. The way He designed my body to ready itself for childbirth, and the way He's provided Codie nutrition and further developed her immune system via breastmilk. The way our noses are placed above our mouths so that we can smell food before consuming - a way to defend ourselves against poisonous produce or food gone bad. The way that these noses protrude from our faces so that, as infants, we don't suffocate when pressed against our mothers' skin to eat. The way newborn vision is so limited, so that while nursing all they can see is mom's face. The way our torsos are arranged, so that we can cradle baby while nursing. The way babies weigh so little, so that even a postpartum mother still in recovery can lift the infant. The way the babies grow so gradually, so that mom can grow her strength at a matching rate so that baby doesn't become too heavy to be held until it is walking age. He's much smarter than me.<br /><br />After my morning nursing love-fest, God spoke to me via breastpump (TMI?). Zach claims I'm hearing things, but my sister backs me up - the motor in my breastpump speaks. It repeats "let it go" as it performs its suction cycle (creepy, right? Also very appropriate). As a result of my two-week hiatus from prayer, I've become more and more bitter toward people around me lately. I was praying from my hardened heart this morning and just heard (through the Medela motor, of course) "let it go" repeatedly. What a relief it is to sit still for ten minutes, listen to God's reminder to "let it go" and just release the hate.<br /><br />Couple of tidbits from the past few days: (heard on radio) God does what is good <em>for</em> you, not what is good <em>to</em> you. It is dangerous to pray for your wants (or what you may perceive as needs) and expect fulfillment of these.<br /><br />It is okay to be in perseverence mode. It is okay to struggle to bring yourself to prayer, and to struggle to stay in prayer. The important part is simply getting there- continuing to strive for glory to God. I'm in perseverence mode, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's something to be proud of. The temptation to slack is here, and I'm making efforts to work through it. God is not ashamed of that.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-52205538351509205692010-05-21T09:57:00.000-07:002010-05-21T10:18:37.470-07:00May 21, 2010Forgive me for the brief hiatus - I was busy birthing new life. Actually, the labor part only took a couple hours on Mother's Day, May 9. Since then, I've just had a really hard time doing anything but staring at my baby. My focus has actually become an issue in my prayer life, and I would love prayer & encouragement over it.<br />This morning was my first real effort at prayer time since Codie was born, and it was incredibly rewarding. I was praying over certain strongholds and calluses in my heart, and just had this incredible freeing sense of exposure. The visual I had was being in the place of a slide under a microscope with God being the scientist. There's nothing invasive or nerve-wracking about it, though. Just a sense of peace that He's in control.<br />I was thinking yesterday about parenting methods. There are a few families in our church that have phenomenal children- obviously the product of Kingdom-based parenting. I've asked about their methods before and been directed to a book. I've never actually read the book because the title reminds me of training a dog, and it strikes me as degrading to the child.<br />I was also very reluctant to read Love & Respect because it struck me as degrading to wives. So I survived in a mediocre, unhealthy relationship for a year. Then I read the book and came to appreciate God's design of marriage, and his plan for Zach & me. Our marriage has been revolutionized.<br />The point of all this is to show how much I need to abandon the thinking of our society. The society that taught me that women don't need to respect their husbands, and deserve to be leaders over submissive husbands is the same society that can't keep half of its marriages intact. The society that taught me that children need friends instead of parents, and pardons over spankings, is the same society with more behavioral-health issues than any preceding generation (or is it simply more awareness? Touche). Abandon society thinking. <strong>There is nothing healthy about becoming more adapted to an ill world. </strong>Society is wrong about marriage. Society might be wrong about child-raising. Psychological theories come and go in trends, but the Bible is an unchanging, everlasting standard that has never failed.<br />Bottom line, I need to read the book.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-72120917909984366282010-05-07T08:41:00.000-07:002010-05-07T08:56:26.093-07:00May 7, 2010Continuing on the theme of "Who do they say I am?" I've been reading from Matthew (because when I flip through the gospels, it's the one I notice with the most red text, meaning Jesus's direct words). So far I've read about Jesus being baptized. John the Baptist asks him why John should be baptizing Jesus, rather than vice versa. Jesus replies "It is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." He didn't have to - his salvation certainly wasn't riding on it, but chose to do so in order to set an example. There's today's daily bread.<br /><strong>Jesus is the example of spiritual living in a flesh body.</strong><br />I often hear things about conquering the grave, defying death, etc. These are words that I've heard so often they no longer bear weight (and were always a little over my head anyway). So I'm backing it up to kindergarten level.<br />Since Eve decided she juuuuuust couldn't help herself (because wouldn't we all accept produce from a talking snake?), mankind has been on a downward spiral of sin. It is now in the genetic nature of our flesh body to entertain darkness. It is the easiest thing in the world to sucuumb to the temptation of the flesh body and disregard God's commandments for pure living. It is the hardest thing in the world to overcome the flesh body and fulfill every one of God's commandments for pure living, without a single falter. It is so hard that only one man has ever accomplished it. In the battle of darkness vs. light, flesh vs. spirit, he is the only man to ever emerge with a 100% success rate. The people I look up to most and consider spiritual leaders probably have a 75% success rate - only a good day. I'm probably running in the 40% range (still good enough for the MLB, might I add). Why in the world would I aspire to the example of someone with a 75% success rate when I have access to the documentation of the only perfect score in history? Respect your pastor, revere your Christ. Jesus is the example of spiritual living in a flesh body.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-85579077840111917562010-05-06T09:27:00.000-07:002010-05-06T09:53:06.834-07:00May 6, 2010First and foremost, I know I missed yesterday. And I have enough to write about today that I could do a post for yesterday and lie on the datestamp, but that's supposed to be something I'm improving on. Truthfully, I just woke up at 10:40 and was lazy with my husband and boy. I'm disappointed that I didn't fulfill my promise to the DNI team, but don't feel like it interfered any with my growth with God. I <em>am</em> allowed to pray other hours of the day, too.<br /><br />Had a vision this morning of a loved one shooting a gun. Someone that's not likely to shoot a gun at all. It was moreso a message to me of aiming for perfection, and the need to be slow and steady while doing so. I learned that the word "sin" is an archery term used to describe only "missing the mark." It doesn't say how far off you were, or that you're a horrible shot for not making a bullseye. Just simply that your shot wasn't right on. This is how I view conviction. To me, it's not a shameful process of being condemned. It's simply an encouraging little guidance that tells me I can do better. Conviction is God's advising on how to aim better for the mark - what could be more loving than that? He does want to see us succeed.<br /><br />I've been meaning to write about this for weeks, and have yet to actually do it. It tugged on my heart more than ever this morning. I've been guilty of living a Christless Christianity. In Matthew 16:13-17, Jesus asks "Who do they say I am?" I have the standard "right" answers on hand - Messiah, Christ, son of living God, etc. But those words have no depth to me. It's just a programmed response. I'm jaded to the concept of Christ. I relate it sort of to Santa Claus. As a child, you're enthralled by the idea of a mystery man bearing gifts, and love him dearly. The older you get, you can still conjure the vision of St. Nick on a Coke ad, but that nostalgia is gone. You've grown so adjusted to the idea of Santa that it's hard to appreciate him anymore. Now, I know one is a ficticious fat man in a red suit and the other the Sacrificial Lamb for all mankind, it's just a basis for understanding. I've grown so accustomed to what Jesus did that I no longer appreciate it fully.<br /><br />So this morning I spent some time breaking down what I do understand. I understand that, before Jesus, man had to offer a sacrifice as payment to cover his sin, and therefore, have communication with God. Post-Jesus, we can call on the Lord in any time of need and simply charge it to Jesus's account. I understand that Jesus is the means by which we are allowed to develop intimacy with the Father. John 14 gives record of Jesus promising to send a Helper (the Holy Spirit) that will allow this.<br /><br />I started to develop more of an understanding of the forgiveness of sin this morning. If Jesus paid the debt of sin (I visualize this as literally paying off the balance of a credit card for me), he therefore is the rightful owner of said sin - just the same as he would rightfully own my car if he paid off my car loan (this is obviously hypothetical. If you know me, you know that I would never take out a car loan). Anyway, that ownership of our sin ties back to what was said in church a few weeks ago that is so liberating.<br /><br /><em>"We have no right anymore to lay claim to being disqualified. It's covered by the blood of the Lamb. <strong>We have no right to lay claim to being disqualified</strong>. <strong>It's not our stuff.</strong> It's one of the reasons why Lord Jesus, on the cross, in the midst of all the intensity, in the pain of not just his death, but the burden of the weight of sin that was on his shoulders at that point, says out loud to the Father, to the world, to the Heavens, "It's finished. It's done." If the Lord Jesus says it's done, there is nobody who can call that back. There is nobody who can disagree with that." - Brock McKay</em> (see 4/18/10 post for more on disqualification)<br /><br />Jesus paid for our sin, and therefore took ownership of sin to do with what he wish. He wished to free the world from the weight of it. By this logic, I am not permitted to take the weight of my sin, even if I so desire. He's made that decision for me.<br /><br />"Who do they say I am?" I say he's the means of intimate communication with the Living God, the sender of the Holy Spirit to the earth, and the payee and liberator of my sin account. Who do you say he is?<br /><br />PS Bit of honesty: Remembering verses is NOT my talent, and I do have to Google keywords to find the Scripture I'm looking for. It's humbling.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-89233342008683855062010-05-04T08:59:00.000-07:002010-05-04T09:19:17.211-07:00May 4, 2010Few short bites this morning-<br /><br />*I used to feel guilty that my prayer hour wasn't spent in a dark closet, rocking back & forth and waiting to hear an audible, booming voice from the Lord. It took me a while to figure out that God has been speaking to me all this time, regardless of whether I'm in a quiet place or changing a diaper. He is not restricted by atmosphere - that's simply an element that affects my focus.<br />I've felt like it's more respectful to try to spend my prayer time in a quiet place, if possible. The only quiet place in our house is my bedroom. Cozying up in bed without kids does not help me focus on the Lord. It helps me nap. So this morning, as I'm laying on the couch to get to my "still, quiet" place, I'm inevitably getting tired. God spoke so directly to me, telling me to "Just keep moving, just keep moving..." (it was actually to the tune of "Just keep swimming" from Finding Nemo. Apparently God's an Ellen fan, too). So a load of dishes, two loads of laundry, swept and mopped floor later, I focused on my prayer far better than I have in a long time.<br />He speaks to me, and I hear from Him, in a different way than I expected. He's still speaking, and I'm still hearing - and that's all He's asked for.<br /><br />*I was praying a thanksgiving for the changes I've seen in Zach. They're nothing short of a miracle to our family. I was trying to explain to God just how exciting it is to see him bearing fruit, and had to stop and realize how much <em>more</em> exciting it is to God to see Zach bear fruit - who do you think planted it there?<br /><br />*My talents do not lie in the understanding theology area. I can understand the parables that are pretty obvious, but find myself reading through ancient law and genealogy and just failing to understand the relevance of any of it. As a result, I have no opinion on creationism, speaking in tongues, baptism, etc. My talent lies in blind faith - I have no problem with accepting that my brain isn't equipped to understand God's full operations. Full understanding would put me on the same level as God, and that's not a place I'm designed to occupy. I've started to wonder if there is danger in this naive faith, and whether God would rather I thirst for the facts so I can represent Him more fully. Jury's still out on this one.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-59411593420743700612010-05-03T09:36:00.000-07:002010-05-03T09:46:51.178-07:00April 25, 2010I updated a few weeks ago on the topic of temptation, and the freedom from sin I feel. Although I closed by discussed personal responsibility in reaction to temptation, I don't think I did a good enough job emphasizing this. It was presented brilliantly in church this morning. I, of course, didn't take coherent notes and therefore will try to piece together something logical here and edit when the sermon audio is available online.<br /><br />The heart is the most fertile place on earth. What seeds fall into the heart <em>will </em>manifest there - be it good seed or bad. Although I don't believe I am responsible for the temptation that presents itself to me, I am responsible for whether I entertain this temptation. Matthew 5:27-30 (the "I tell you that anyone wo looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" verses) makes it pretty clear that entertaining the idea of sin is introducing the sin to yourself. As that idea takes seed in your fertile heart, it is bound to grow like wildfire. Why is it that weeds are so hard to kill and blooms are so hard to keep alive? The important message from this morning is that sin is more than the moment of relapse - it is more than the instant gratification and then repentance that sometimes follows. Sin is allowing the darkness of the enemy to take root in your heart and spread. Guard your heart. Protect it and weed it and fertilize it so it can be pure.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-60414609733427754942010-05-03T09:02:00.000-07:002010-05-03T09:17:24.669-07:00May 3, 2010For those that don't know, I'm 39 weeks pregnant and taking two online courses. Next week I'll be having a baby - during finals week. So Saturday I emailed an instructor asking how he felt about letting me take his final a few days early, since it doesn't officially open until the same day I may be getting induced. I logged back on to the online system this morning to find that he'd written back Saturday that yes, he'll open the final early for me, it needs to be done Monday evening.<br />It's Monday morning.<br />I still have two chapters to complete, at three hours a piece, for that class before I'm ready to start studying for the final.<br /><br />Talk about a pleasant way to start a Monday morning.<br /><br />So why in the world am I not working on those right now?<br />Because God never told me to be a straight-A student. God never told me to be a student at all.<br />God <em>did</em> tell me to start a blog, and to publish the things I learn from Him. I slack on this duty - a lot. I'm guilty of only updating once a week, and then changing the date stamps to look like I've updated daily. I'm guilty of putting Facebook, housework, homework, phone calls, even naps before Daily Bread. It seems silly to put a blog on God-status, but it is one of the few things in my life God has called directly upon me to do.<br /><br />So here's today's Daily Bread, courtesy of a church brother named Paul Miller: <em>"Stop and listen, you who busy yourselves with endless tasks. As Martha did, are you doing things your Father hasn't even asked for? Are you seeking to attain His love through works? Are you consumed with desire to be recognized and praised by the people around you rather than the one true God? Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world and the patterns of a religious system. But be transformed by the renewing of your minds."</em><br /><em></em><br />No excuses. No distractions. Just obedience.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2893984862323732268.post-44668304885646247812010-05-01T18:31:00.001-07:002010-05-01T19:34:06.265-07:00May 1, 2010 - SubmissionThis is, by far, the most important concept I have ever understood, and I hope I do it justice in the way I present it here.<br /><br />In both my relationship with God and in my marriage, I believe in submission. Nothing is more important in my life than understanding the importance of obedience. I am not number one in my life, or in any aspect of the world.<br />This starts with the Creator. Proverbs 3:5-6 makes it pretty clear that we don't have to understand God's plan, we just have to agree to trust Him. This often contradicts my earthly will - particularly in my daily prayer hour. Boredom and household duties often tempt me to spend time away from prayer. I got a great email this week from my friend Lizzie, offering encouragement in dedicating to prayer time. <em>"I was given a word by my husband this week to press through being obedient to prayer if I don't feel like it, just like how we would brush our teeth or shower when we don't feel like it. The Lord revealed to me how dedicated and thorough I am in my brushing my teeth, but how quick I can be to slack off in prayer."</em><br /><br />Our God is a beyond sufficient provider, and will not leave us in need. All He asks of us is an obedience to Him in return. We don't have to agree with His will. We just have to submit to it.<br /><br />Submission is an intimidating word because of the social stigma in our post-sexual revolution culture. We dare not give up our personal freedoms to compromise to anyone - the generation before mine burned many bras and marched many miles to free me from submission. No offense to the feminist movement, but to me, submission is nothing to hide from. To me, submission is the manifestation of trust. That's the most important part, so let's repeat. <strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Submission is the manifestation of trust.</span></strong> There is nothing compromising or oppressive about the intimacy of a trusting relationship. There is only love and security there.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-size:100%;">From 2/26 in my journal</span>: Within my marriage, let me embody respect for my husband and his calling to lead our family. Let me know that submission is not a form of oppression, but a showing of trust in the plans Zach has for us. The more I show him this respect, the more his heart will desire to love me to my deepest needs. When I fail to submit to my husband, I am showing him that I don't respect him or trust him as a leader. There are times that Zach is wrong, but it is not my responsibility to place blame or take authority. I pray for him earnestly, follow him faithfully, and let him recognize the mistake in his own time. He is a good-willed leader that wants the best for our family, and I trust he will make that happen. I have never had a prayer for Zach's heart that wasn't answered in a matter of days. </span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br />I think this is what it means to love someone else more than you love yourself. I have so much trust in Zach that I would rather see his needs met first, and know that he'll take care of mine in return. A year ago, we couldn't stop arguing because I was so afraid that if I gave in, he'd walk all over me. I honestly thought I <em>needed</em> to drive my point into his brain or he wouldn't get it.<br />Zach's a more intelligent man than this. He knows me, and knows my priorities and interests. Since I've stopped the nagging, he's actually been more responsive to my wants. We realized today it's been a long time since we've had a real argument. We still get snappy with each other, and then we improve our moods and apologize. There's no tension in our home anymore. We're living with joy in our marriage, and no longer just surviving the days in it. I've never found him more attractive.<br /><br />I read the Five Love Languages book by Dr. Gary Chapman before understanding the submission concept. It gives its reader the opportunity to understand both his own and his spouse's "love language" - the way they prefer to show and receive love. The five love languages are: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Confirmation, Physical Touch and Gifts. Zach's is acts of service. Mine is physical touch. Nothing is more cozy to me than cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. Nothing is more comforting than being hugged when I'm upset. Before the submission concept revolutionized our marriage, I came to understand that I would feel more loved if Zach would spend more time with me in physical touch. I made efforts to meet his needs for acts of service, and just could not understand what kind of heartless husband would refuse to meet his wife halfway. I used to count the days since I last received the touch I desired, and would hold the count against Zach as a proof of spousal neglect. We had many, many fights over this and I shed many, many tears over it.<br />I realized a few days ago it's been weeks, if not at least a month, since I've received the cuddle time I would consider sufficient for my physical touch needs. And yet, I've never felt more loved. Although my love language is not gifts, I feel so loved when Zach brings me home a Dr. Pepper because he had to stop at the gas station and knows how much I love fountain drinks. My love language isn't acts of service, but I know he loves me when he does the dishes because I've been complaining about my back hurting. My love language isn't quality time, but I feel so treasured when he gets a babysitter for Carson so he can take me to a baseball game and relax together. I mean no disrespect toward Dr. Chapman's ideas, I'm sure they've been a blessing to other marriages. In my marriage, however, I didn't need any help identifying how I wanted to be loved. I needed help identifying how he already loves me.<br /><br />Read "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Before opening the book, spend some time in prayer and ask God to help quiet the selfish cultural voice in each of us. Ask Him for revelation in His design of our psychology and how we interact as a result. Mostly, ask Him for help in planting the seed of submission, and that it bloom something beautiful for you.Jennyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18098815483190880717noreply@blogger.com1